I shall find a card and write this into it with hope he hears me.
safe haven you provide
I can write
to keep myself sane
to keep fears calm in my brain
to believe I will rise again.
If only you knew
how much this gift of space and time
means to me,
you would would be filled with so much joy and gratitude
you would feel your value as a human being increase exponentially
with each passing day of peace
and night of comfort
in this sanctuary you provide.
From such a heart as yours
this gift provides belief
that the human race still has hope to survive it's infancy
and evolve into beings that can share this world in peace.
For you are who you are
I am inspired to remain
to return to the madness of the working world
if only to return some tangible gifts and favor.
For you have restored my faith in humanity...
and in myself.
My hope is I do not overstay my welcome. I must maintain alert communication and acute sensitivity in spite of instinct pushing to be as still and quite and invisible as possible so as not to intrude any more than I already do just by being here and filling space and using resources he pays for. Imagine no possessions is a wonder ideal, but I know it is not realistic in this world at this time and I must sense his limits even if he says I have not reached them. If he was such a being who truly could actualize having none as I have at times in this life when I had the space and means, he would be the first I've met.
How do we know how close we can come to existentially enlightened until we actually do it?
I name him The Maharaja in my daily blogs because that is my way of offering some privacy to the people in in the physical world as I express my experiences, thoughts, and feeling in worlds online. He has given me shelter from the storm, a room, a bed, a safe place to rest and cook and eat and exercise and bathe and search the internet for a job (and do all the other things, paperwork, dress properly, fill out the online applications, write cover letters, appear as though I am not homeless so I might have a better presentation to prospective employers). This would be so much more challenging from a library living in my car.
His generosity, hospitality, kindness, and understanding comes as a wonderful surprise just when I needed it most. A large poster of John Lennon adorns the wall right outside of this room and this man opening his home to me is showing me Imagine is not just a song. The dream lives in him as it lives in me and now, it is actualized.
I hope it feels as good to him in his heart as it does to me in mine.
